Friday, February 12, 2010

Trapped

25th January, 2010

Its been quite sometime since I last posted anything. Yeah, its been busy, I've been roaming around in the streets looking for sponsors for my college fest which even my college mates wont attend. All I realized after days of pointless travelling was that I wont make a good salesman.

Its been hell, the last few days. And its not even remotely connected to me leading the life of a salesman. Actually the thing has helped me.Its helped me to get away from things..its helped me get a good night's sleep..I mean you can't really stay awake after walking miles and travelling at peak hours in the jam packed Mumbai local trains..Its basically helped me to run away..from my thoughts, my life..from myself.

But today, I just can't distract myself. I see Federer flattening Hewitt. I see Tendulkar hammering the Bangladeshis. I read Pearls Before Swine. I try to re-read Harry Potter for the umpteenth time. Its still there. I still feel trapped.

12th February, 2010

Its even more time since i last posted anything. I saw Federer thrashing Murray in the finals, South Africa hammer India, Sachin posting a ton in vain, read more Harry Potter, started going to college, broke a promise i made to myself, got my results, was happy for a millisecond, became optimistic at a lost cause, fell flat on my face three days later, had two sleepless nights, and yeah, I can't distract myself. I still  feel trapped.

A friend yesterday commented that even the happiest person would feel depressed after standing five minutes beside me..that made me laugh. My jokes are depressing sure, and I know I don't spread the happiness aura, but well, that's me. Bored, depressed, and confused.

I dunno where this post is heading, I dunno what to write, I dunno where to start, nor do I know where to stop.

Am tired now. And I don't like abrupt endings..but then who cares?

NOTE TO SELF: Maybe I'll finish this someday. Maybe I should.  Maybe I should be a bit more relaxed and carefree. Maybe i shouldn't really think much. Maybe I should stop saying "Maybe" and be a bit more decisive. Maybe i should just leave to avoid any more awkward questions.

6 comments:

  1. I managed close to 9 years with you, and i am by no means 'The Happiest Person In The World'. Not even in a galaxy far far away.

    Tell your friend that his/her theory is shite.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Haha man..it was just a passing comment.Nothing serious about the theory.
    Btw, talking to you made me feel nice. And i didn't go to 'Oven Hot' on my way home. :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. bored, depressed and confused.. chill up cheer up !!

    ReplyDelete
  4. ur really fucked up man.u know what.try this :

    On a free evening...lock urself in ur room..switch off the lights..create a playlist of ur all time fav songs..play it on full vol...and lie on ur bed and stare at ur ceiling...u can sing along or evn better get up and dance like a possessed mad man...when ur done go have a long (for like an hour) hot water bath...u might feel better...

    PS: Give me a feedback in case u do this...
    PPS: Ive only tried it uptil the singing part..

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ subu.ps
    Thanks for coming by. Am cheering up :)

    @ Pranav
    Will surely try mate..and the feedback when I do. Actually..i do sing along most times..other poeple run away though.. :D

    ReplyDelete
  6. yea...i know...dats why i asked u to do it when ur alone! :P

    ReplyDelete