How A Normal Conversation Turns Idiotic

*Umm..before you say anything about the title, I know my titles are trash*

The last day of exams, four hour before Maths-III starts, I sit up all tensed. No matter how much portion remains, I can't get myself to sit on my desk and study. As is human tendency, I call up Gautham, my classmate, to check up on his status.

*Ring Ring*

Me: Hey, how much you done? I am royally screwed man, I've still gotta study Residues, Taylor's series. Done only bi-linear and am not at all sure about Laplace.

Gautham: Same here mate. I've done the exact same chapters. We are in the same boat.

*The panicky guy in me relaxes.The over-smart guy in me takes over.*

Me: Ah..its a boat is it? I was hoping it'd be a Cruise Liner. At least we'd have enjoyed ourselves while the exam f*cked up our grades.

Gautham: @^&%3&..Bad jokes all the time. Wait till I lay my hands on you in college.

Me: Eww..I didn't know you were gay. Stay away..and don't you dare try and lay your hands on me!

Gautham: You are Impossible :| .Go study and spare me from your Cruise Liner jokes.

Me: Aye Aye Captain!

*Keeps the phone.*

 The phrase "Aye Aye Captain" plays in my head like an irritating advertisement jingle. I turn the pages of my text book aimlessly and land up on the page with Complex Numbers. Unfortunately, for everyone, i start thinking.

*Ring Ring*

Gautham: Now what?

Me: Have you noticed? People say Aye Aye Captain when they mean to agree with something. It actually means that they disagree.

Gautham: How on earth did you deduce that?

Me: Aye Aye Captain.

       = i.i Captain.

       = i² Captain.

As you can now see, i² is -1, or in other words negative. So "obviously" you mean to say Negative Captain which implies that you wont obey the order. Right?

Gautham: *A bit too stunned to react. Bangs his head on the wall once it registers.*

Gautham: Dude, I think the exams have addled your brains. Take care man. Now F*ck off!

*I laugh out loud and keep the phone.*

Conclusions:

1. Never pick up the calls of a psycho just before the exams. He has nothing important to say, apart from bad jokes which will eventually help the world.
2. Examinations addle peoples brains. Ban them.
3. Don't abuse a psycho for his bad jokes. Abuses are satisfactory for the psycho. It feels like Mission Accomplished. The psycho will come back stronger with even worse jokes.
4. The psycho's jokes may be bad. But they are logical if you think out of the box.
5. Don't ask a psycho why his bad jokes will save the world. He doesn't know.

P.S: I got a 'Get a Life Loser' reaction for my last idiotic post. I daresay I am gonna get some more. But before you do that read Conclusion #3 again.

Five Point Someone

Finally, after a about a month after its release, I watched the film yesterday. Yes the film was good, yes I was laughing like everyone else, yet I was feeling kinda sour while leaving the hall.

A pizza with extra oregano and chili flakes, but with a few toppings missing, still remains a pizza. A story with one character missing, and lots of masala to suit the script of a Bollywood film, still for me at least, remains the same story.

I don't know what contract was signed between the film-makers and Chetan Bhagat, but what i do know that simple ethics have not been followed. An adaptation is an adaption, credit needs to be given. Sure Abhijat Joshi worked hard..sure Hirani gave in loads of inputs, but the fact remains that the story was Chetan Bhagat's. You can not take almost every character from the book, bring a character into prominence, take most scenes from the book, add a few scenes to make it a comedy and say its an original story. The least you can do is acknowledge the fact that it is an adaptation. The makers have been denying it..and it got to my nerves yesterday while watching the film.

It was fun watching Ryan, Alok, Neha, Cherian and Venkat on the screen..I loved the film Mr.Amir Khan, I loved it Mr. Raju Hirani, am sure you made loads of profits Mr. Vidhu Vinod Chopra, but my respect for you has not grown a single bit. You owe it to Chetan Bhagat. Without Five Point Someone, there could be no 3 Idiots. I know it because I have read the book. What about the ones who haven't read it?

The Year Gone By..

Its been quite sometime now, my unofficial one-post-per-week policy hasn't worked this time. I seem to have lost my brains. No poems that i can think of, nothing witty that i can write, nothing interesting to churn up. Its just Blank..my mind is at the moment.

Its a New Year, a new start according to one of my friends, and its started, well, quite badly. A sudden change in mood, from normal to a reflecting an introspecting one, a sudden urge to sit in a corner and do nothing, not even think about things.

The year that has gone by, was bad. Yes, I did try breaking out of my shell, talked quite a bit to people, some even asked me to shut up..and to think there was a time when people asked if i did talk. Had fights with friends for probably the first time ever, I usually never had any. I lost my interest in study, though this what i had always wanted to do..It still is, i have absolutely no regrets in joining Mechanical Engineering. Just hope, its a passing phase and my low grades will motivate me.

Well, the good things. I was living a dream. The dream was wonderful. Though it kinda hurt when I came out of it. But the dream was wonderful.

There nothing much to write. Wishing every one a very happy new year and hope that it turns out to be better than the last one.

P.S: If you were wondering why I changed reflecting to introspecting earlier in the post, its because i read this.

Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis-June 11, 2002.

P.P.S : The only thing good about this post is the comic strip.