*Umm..before you say anything about the title, I know my titles are trash*
The last day of exams, four hour before Maths-III starts, I sit up all tensed. No matter how much portion remains, I can't get myself to sit on my desk and study. As is human tendency, I call up Gautham, my classmate, to check up on his status.
Me: Hey, how much you done? I am royally screwed man, I've still gotta study Residues, Taylor's series. Done only bi-linear and am not at all sure about Laplace.
Gautham: Same here mate. I've done the exact same chapters. We are in the same boat.
*The panicky guy in me relaxes.The over-smart guy in me takes over.*
Me: Ah..its a boat is it? I was hoping it'd be a Cruise Liner. At least we'd have enjoyed ourselves while the exam f*cked up our grades.
Gautham: @^&%3&..Bad jokes all the time. Wait till I lay my hands on you in college.
Me: Eww..I didn't know you were gay. Stay away..and don't you dare try and lay your hands on me!
Gautham: You are Impossible :| .Go study and spare me from your Cruise Liner jokes.
Me: Aye Aye Captain!
*Keeps the phone.*
The phrase "Aye Aye Captain" plays in my head like an irritating advertisement jingle. I turn the pages of my text book aimlessly and land up on the page with Complex Numbers. Unfortunately, for everyone, i start thinking.
Gautham: Now what?
Me: Have you noticed? People say Aye Aye Captain when they mean to agree with something. It actually means that they disagree.
Gautham: How on earth did you deduce that?
Me: Aye Aye Captain.
= i.i Captain.
= i2 Captain.
As you can now see, i2 is -1, or in other words negative. So "obviously" you mean to say Negative Captain which implies that you wont obey the order. Right?
Gautham: *A bit too stunned to react. Bangs his head on the wall once it registers.*
Gautham: Dude, I think the exams have addled your brains. Take care man. Now F*ck off!
*I laugh out loud and keep the phone.*
- Never pick up the calls of a psycho just before the exams. He has nothing important to say, apart from bad jokes which will eventually help the world.
- Examinations addle peoples brains. Ban them.
- Don't abuse a psycho for his bad jokes. Abuses are satisfactory for the psycho. It feels like Mission Accomplished. The psycho will come back stronger with even worse jokes.
- The psycho's jokes may be bad. But they are logical if you think out of the box.
- Don't ask a psycho why his bad jokes will save the world. He doesn't know.