Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How A Normal Conversation Turns Idiotic

*Umm..before you say anything about the title, I know my titles are trash*

The last day of exams, four hour before Maths-III starts, I sit up all tensed. No matter how much portion remains, I can't get myself to sit on my desk and study. As is human tendency, I call up Gautham, my classmate, to check up on his status.

*Ring Ring*

Me: Hey, how much you done? I am royally screwed man, I've still gotta study Residues, Taylor's series. Done only bi-linear and am not at all sure about Laplace.

Gautham: Same here mate. I've done the exact same chapters. We are in the same boat.

*The panicky guy in me relaxes.The over-smart guy in me takes over.*

Me: Ah..its a boat is it? I was hoping it'd be a Cruise Liner. At least we'd have enjoyed ourselves while the exam f*cked up our grades.

Gautham: @^&%3&..Bad jokes all the time. Wait till I lay my hands on you in college.

Me: Eww..I didn't know you were gay. Stay away..and don't you dare try and lay your hands on me!

Gautham: You are Impossible :| .Go study and spare me from your Cruise Liner jokes.

Me: Aye Aye Captain!

*Keeps the phone.*

 The phrase "Aye Aye Captain" plays in my head like an irritating advertisement jingle. I turn the pages of my text book aimlessly and land up on the page with Complex Numbers. Unfortunately, for everyone, i start thinking.

*Ring Ring*

Gautham: Now what?

Me: Have you noticed? People say Aye Aye Captain when they mean to agree with something. It actually means that they disagree.

Gautham: How on earth did you deduce that?

Me: Aye Aye Captain.
       = i.i Captain.
       = i2 Captain.
As you can now see, i2 is -1, or in other words negative. So "obviously" you mean to say Negative Captain which implies that you wont obey the order. Right?
Gautham: *A bit too stunned to react. Bangs his head on the wall once it registers.*
Gautham: Dude, I think the exams have addled your brains. Take care man. Now F*ck off!
*I laugh out loud and keep the phone.*
  1. Never pick up the calls of a psycho just before the exams. He has nothing important to say, apart from bad jokes which will eventually help the world.
  2. Examinations addle peoples brains. Ban them.
  3. Don't abuse a psycho for his bad jokes. Abuses are satisfactory for the psycho. It feels like Mission Accomplished. The psycho will come back stronger with even worse jokes.
  4. The psycho's jokes may be bad. But they are logical if you think out of the box.
  5. Don't ask a psycho why his bad jokes will save the world. He doesn't know.
P.S: I got a 'Get a Life Loser' reaction for my last idiotic post. I daresay I am gonna get some more. But before you do that read Conclusion #3 again.


  1. 'twas a good thing there wasnt a pen nearby when i read the "Aye Aye Captain" joke...else tomorrow's newspaper would report another student suicide. :|

  2. seriously...u deduced aye, aye= -ve?! U are genius...like plain genius. And i'm not kidding, it requires lot's of superhuman ability to come up wid somethin like that :) :P

  3. @ Pranav
    Umm..I didn't get why you require a pen to commit suicide.But please please don't move ahead, am sure there are loads of bad jokes that i still can frame.You'll be missing out on those :P
    @ Krittika
    And, my deduction is perfectly logical...just like those proofs you get on the net where one is not equal to one.